{"id":5399,"date":"2021-01-03T17:19:25","date_gmt":"2021-01-03T21:19:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/monastere.ca\/non-classifiee\/self-compassion-for-self-love\/"},"modified":"2023-01-20T20:30:08","modified_gmt":"2023-01-21T00:30:08","slug":"self-compassion-for-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/monastere.ca\/en\/holistic-health\/self-compassion-for-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-compassion for self-love"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Learning to self-love and understand yourself can be the quest of a lifetime, as it is for many. Self-compassion is an ideal ally for such a quest. But what is self-compassion exactly? According to Dr.\u00a0Kristin Neff<\/a>, it\u2019s being understanding, open and kind in the face of your own failures, mistakes and personal troubles. It\u2019s the idea that imperfection and suffering are part of the human experience.[1]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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\"L\u2019autocompassion:<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n
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It involves accepting that you\u2019ll make mistakes, keeping a gentle, kind inner voice and learning to cultivate compassion in situations that would otherwise leave you feeling dissatisfied. But how do you develop self-compassion, practically speaking? This article suggests a few avenues for thought, based on two fundamental elements: being kind to yourself, and looking inward.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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Being kind to yourself<\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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\ufeff<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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With your thoughts and feelings<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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Being kind to yourself starts with paying attention to your self-talk and your feelings. Start by identifying the emotions you feel every day<\/a>, both positive and negative, and work toward accepting them without judgment. Keep in mind that you\u2019re human and therefore vulnerable and imperfect.[2]<\/a> Being fully mindful<\/a> of your negative emotions is one of the keys to self-compassion, because you can\u2019t be compassionate toward your own suffering if you deny it.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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Next, take a step back from your emotions and learn to see them from a more objective perspective. Emotions are the result of processing information through our filters and cognitive biases<\/a>, which are tied to our beliefs.[3]<\/a> Learn to respond to your negative thoughts and feelings rationally with the Beck self-rating scale<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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\ufeff<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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With your actions<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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How you manage your disappointments is also an important element of self-kindness. Learn to encourage and congratulate yourself, regardless of the outcome of your actions. For instance, instead of beating yourself up over a failure, like not landing a job you applied for, why not be proud that you tried? Why not congratulate yourself for stepping outside your comfort zone to give it a shot? Not only will it improve your self-compassion, reframing your thought process in a positive light will help you with letting go<\/a>. Acknowledging that you can\u2019t succeed all the time and being compassionate with yourself is a much more constructive and realistic response to disappointment than anger or bitterness.[4]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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\ufeff<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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With your experiences<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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Being kind to yourself also applies to the situations you experience. Here\u2019s an exercise to try: think of a time when someone close to you went through something difficult. It could be a mistake they made at work or some form of rejection. Maybe they were fired or had their heart broken. Get a piece of paper and write down what you would have told them about their problem. Think about the tone you would have used. Then repeat the exercise, but for one of your own issues. Notice a difference in approach? Are you offering the same compassion to yourself as you extended to your loved one? The point of this exercise is to realize how much harder we tend to be on ourselves. One of the primary principles of self-compassion is treating yourself as you would treat others.[5]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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\ufeff<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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With who you are<\/h3>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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The next step in your self-compassion practice is to learn that your worth doesn\u2019t depend on your success or failure. The culture we live in puts a strong emphasis on action, progress and performance. But your worth can\u2019t be measured by your successes or failures or your possessions, only by who you are. Learn to be proud of who you are.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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\"L\u2019autocompassion:<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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Being kind to who you are also means taking care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally. How, then, do you practise self-compassion?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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Through concrete actions:<\/strong><\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n
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